It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
