we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize