in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
