people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
