He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
