It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
