Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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