I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
