Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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