White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
