This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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