If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
we're making bets on your personal life
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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