I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
