I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
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