how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize