i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Randomize
