Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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