Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
