The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
