My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
