No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
