Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I could make wine with my vomit
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
