do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
