i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
