i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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