apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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