my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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