I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
