"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
