Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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