Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
