You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
