areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
