Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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