Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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