I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
