Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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