Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
