i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
