How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize