it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
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