Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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