And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
