oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize
