my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I need a burrito and a hug.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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