I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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