Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
