Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
