you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize