the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
