Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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