I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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