I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
