We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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