How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
