piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
