90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
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