brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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