Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
BRING THE BAGELS
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize