I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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