whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
