shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He had one of those small greek statue penises
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
