Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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