last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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