I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
