I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Quick, to the slutcave!
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
