Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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