So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Randomize