my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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